From this Straight, White, Happily-Married Momma

I would like to preface this with the fact that this is my opinion and my opinions are relative to my limited knowledge and experiences. While I recognize I am limited, I would like to share my opinions with my reasoning to give you some insight into my way of thinking.

I am pregnant with my third child. Upon creating a Facebook event where I would live stream my revealing of the baby’s sex to my children, I was met with some rather negative feedback. Without going into more detail on that, I would like to explain why I LOVE having a gender (sex at birth) reveal for any and all of my children that I choose to find out (in no particular order).

  1. Every child needs a starting point. Starting a child off with the label of male or female DOES NOT AND SHOULD NOT restrict them in any way! Like taking a child to church, it gives them a starting point to learn about their self. Just be willing to let them grow into the person they want to be.
  2. Pregnancy is HARD. Don’t believe the movies, they lie. Having one more reason to celebrate the life you are creating is wonderful. You get to connect with those who support you and build bonds and memories.
  3. Pink is not just for girls and blue is not just for boys. While most gender reveal parties follow the ‘pink for girls, blue for boys’ theme for the big announcement (I did for my first two), I tried to tone that down for this one. My daughter chose blue for her school containers and my son’s favourite colour is pink so the typical colour-based gender reveal didn’t seem right anymore. This time around we went with multi-colour balloons and a blue pajama with pink letters spelling “LITTLE SISTER”. The lack of pink until seeing the letters confused more than a few, but I want to teach my children that all colours are for all people.
  4. Culture is part of everyone. Whether you like the culture within your society or you are trying to be more progressive, it is there. Once again, this is a baseline. Some people may like the ‘pink for girls, blue for boys’ theme parties and THAT’S OKAY!! It is also just as okay to say “I don’t support the idea of placing a gender on a child that hasn’t made that decision yet”. Just know that either way, you are expressing your culture and the society you want to create. Having children raised in a variety of ways is what makes the would an interesting place.
  5. Sex at birth does make a difference! Not in how they should be treated or what colours or interests they like, but biologically and developmentally. Males and females have biological differences inside and out beyond their reproductive organs. Hormones, chromosomes, and whatever other biological differences there are play a part in the child’s growth and development. Being aware of how your child may develop differently because of their sex at birth is very important! Many mental, physical, and developmental conditions and disorders may present differently because the biological differences. Knowing those differences and being aware can help you be the advocate your child needs you to be.

Not everyone has to like ‘Gender Reveal Parties’ and that is fine. My children are loved and supported by so many. I hope they always know they are free to be their own self and they can love themselves for it.

~ Momma J